Life Is Difficult

Reality check: Life is difficult.

How I wish it was not so. But we do live in a fallen and broken world.

What's my difficult reality today? Child #4, male, teenager, mind of his own, 'nuff said.

It's pretty nigh impossible to raise children and not go through seasons of just plain grief, confusion, pain, loss, guilt, fear, frustration, and hurt--hopefully not all at once. But painful feelings are a significant part of the human journey.

I sometimes wish that there was a place to go that is free of any painful emotions. I sometimes hope that my "spiritual life" will completely transport me there. But that desire, besides being unrealistic, is not one that is embracing life itself.

So, this brings me to reality check #2 for the day:
The inner journey is not an escape from painful realities and emotions, rather it is the transformation of those realities and emotions that takes place by bringing the Presence of Christ thoroughly into them.

This presents three challenges for me personally:
1. I have to be willing to fully acknowledge the painful realities and emotions in order to invite Christ into them. Ignoring, denying, covering over, or whatever else I might do does not bring His Presence into those areas.
2. Then, I have to be willing to fully invite Him in... not simply enter into an everlasting wallowing.
3. Finally, I have to wait for Him to come to me in His timing and way. Wait on Him. The resurrection life of His presence does transform... but that Easter morning may still be two or three days away.

Today, I did deliberately sit with a couple of friends and talk about what I am going through and how I am feeling. I knew this would take me into that place of more fully acknowledging my realities and emotions (thanks Frank & Denise).

I am willing and did invite Christ to meet me in this place that I am.

But now I do wait. Transformation is not about finding some "answer" that "takes all those bad feelings away." It's very different from that. Transformation is that mystery of God meeting me in my humanness. Hard to explain. Revelation seeps in--who God is--how He is working--my limitations--His Presence in both my inner self and in my life situations--something in me begins to shift, inexplicably, because God is simply at work.

But now I do wait. It's not instant. It may come in many stages. A little grace and transformation, and then another helping of painful realities. Then more grace and Presence, etc.

It's good, though it's not. Life is difficult. God is oh so good. So, I wait.