Sometimes I'm aware that being fully who I am is the most spiritual thing I can be.
But this is only true if I'm aware of that false part of me, that pretend part of me, that not-real-me part of me and moving away from that and toward the truest me.
Sin separates me from my true inner heart and my true inner life. I separate myself from these things as I put on my mask, cover my real feelings with stuff, wear my personnas, and otherwise try to be more or different than I who truly am.
Jesus reconciles me and brings me back into full relationship with Himself; and He also brings me back into full and right relationship with who I truly am: my made-in-the-image-of-Christ self. Me. Just me. Raw me. Wholly me. Alive me. Passionate me. No-pretense me. Full-of-all-kinds-of-feelings me. Simple me. True me.
Does this make any sense? I don't leave myself to become spiritual. I do die to the false parts of myself but this brings me into the freedom to live out of and be my true self. Fully myself.
Brennan Manning says it this way:
"Sanctity lies in discovering my true self, moving toward it, and living out of it... While the impostor draws his identity from past achievements, and the adulation of others, the true self claims its identity in its belovedness. We give glory to God simply by being ourselves."
I get so weary when I try to live out of the "impostor." Even worse than the "imposter" is the "spiritual imposter." How draining and hypocritical. How foolish to think that I have to be more than I am in order to be alive, free, or precious to God. How I need to remind myself that God gave His life so that I would live-- and simply be the true person that He created. It is my truest self that is His beloved, not the other false parts of me that I put on. It is the "real me" being "fully me" that is the object of God's infinite affections. He longs for me as I really and thoroughly am--add nothing.
It is being fully me that He thoroughly delights in! Who I am is thoroughly enough!
Today I want to give glory to God by adding nothing to who I am. I'm such a simple person. A simple desire to be a lover of God and a lover of others. No rank, no status, no position, no role. Just an alive-to-the-world person and, by His grace, an alive-to-God person. I'm nobody, yet I'm magnificent (in His image). I'm nothing, yet I'm the beloved of the Creator. I'm unique, and it's just, simply, plainly, who I am that brings glory to God. Amazing!
The Lord spoke clearly -- deny yourself -- and take up your cross and follow Me. I felt He was saying deny all that false self and that cross is your true self -- being true to myself and my God. Fully engaging in the life I am called to -- not what looks good on the outside, but the life of who I really am. Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made -- all I have added through fear and pride must be denied!
Posted by: John Ford | July 12, 2007 at 09:35 PM
I'm sitting here getting ready to teach on the the True Self to a group of young believers who are passionate about prayer, when I stumbled upon your site. What a treasure it is!
I remember well the day when the Father spoke to me. I was standing by my bed in the early morning hours in the spring of 2000. His still small voice was clear. "You must embrace your darkness". I couldn't believe my ears. What was He saying? That doesn't even sound scriptural. But His voice was clear. I had never accounted for the darkness that was me. I had covered it and lived as the imposter, a good, holy Christian man. The sudden awareness of taking account of the darkness of my heart was almost overwhelming.
But as the Shulamite said "I am dark, but lovely", I embraced my darkness and began to be whole and no longer split off. I began to live out of my full heart, aware of my frailties and unashamed of who I could be. I could then live out of the true self, the one who was resurrected with Christ.
Bless you for this blog! I'll be back.
Posted by: Tom Cole | July 26, 2007 at 06:22 PM