God's will is not usually an immediate experience of insight and clarity. Rather it unfolds. It often takes longer than I want it to. I want every step laid out now. He leads a step at a time, when it is time, and not before.
His love, parenthetically, is ever-present, constant, and immediately accessible at all times. It is gentle, healing, powerful, and often tangible.
His will unfolding, on the other hand, requires more patience than I often want to give it. I want to see many upcoming steps at once with clarity and immediacy. Normally, however, I have to wait longer than I want to and there is often much letting go involved in this process.
Thus I so often find myself running ahead of his will and implementing my own plan, my own strategies, and my own devices. "Let's just move this project right along... it will probably fit into God's plan down the road anyway, so I will just get a jump start on it now and be ready when God finally wakes up!" This has led to so many bunny trails in my life that I cannot begin to count them. Not always a bad thing, but very often a significant waste of time and emotional energy.
He has a plan that is so much more complete than mine. It takes into account a bigger perspective and a greater awareness of my own life and limitations. It is born out of his overwhelming and constant love for me. His plan is worth waiting on and learning to enjoy the process of seeing it unfold moment by moment and day by day. I can rest more and strive less. I can be childlike more and over-responsible less. I can experience relationships and intimacy with him and others more while spending less energy in the "doing" mode. His will always unfolds as I am willing to wait, watch, and be the child-of-God I am meant to be.
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