The inner journey is not only a journey into God's heart, it is also a journey into the full discovery of our own "belovedness." This is a healing journey.
As we grow closer to God we discover that we are loved, yet we continually hold back from fully embracing the measure of "belovedness" that is ours.
John was known for having caught hold of this revelation, calling himself "John the beloved." In essence, "I'm the one that God loves." What an awesome internalization of truth. "Not only does God love me, but my heart has so received this truth that I am able to walk in my true identity: the one who is beloved of God."
Knowing that God loves me is a starting point, but the real transformation takes place (as it did with John) when my heart embraces the truth of who I am. At my very essence, I am the one whom God looks at with longing and desire, whom God is in love with, who causes Him to exclaim: You are my beloved. When I internalize this, it becomes about who I know myself to be and who I really am. I am the beloved one.
The journey toward our "belovedness" however is not an easy one. It's not enough to just proclaim the truth over ourselves: I am the beloved one. Though, this certainly can't hurt. The challenge goes deeper, however. Hidden within the many crevices of our soul are the many wounds and lies that have formed deep within us that contradict our belovedness. We have often built layer upon layer around these wounds and lies in an attempt to bury them deeply, but we are still living out of those inner untruths, such as: I am not worth anything; I am less-than; I am a failure; I am unlovable; I am guilty; I am, I am, I am. These are difficult untruths to get at because they are both painful and often covered up deeply. Yet they battle against the very reality of who we really are in Christ. They keep us from fully embracing, at a heart level, our belovedness.
Only the truth of God's fiery, passionate love can give us the courage to dig into the buried places and face the pain and the untruths that have captivated us. Ultimately, the inner journey is a healing journey. As we draw nearer and nearer to His love, we are able to more fully open up every crevice of our soul and let the healing power, forgiving power, and loving power transform every part.
As we continue to draw nearer to Him, I want to remember that He can and will transform whatever I will open to Him. It takes courage on my part to open up to Him more fully. So I remind myself that He is transforming me so that I can fully walk in, embrace, and enjoy who I am: one most beloved.
When I think of the courage it takes to open one's self and reveal all the crevices of the broken soul to God, I think of those who struggle with addictions of various types.
How difficult the struggle toward heart acceptance of one's belovedness within the context of drug addiction, alcoholism or any other addictive behavior which thrives on shame.
Part of the struggle involves acknowleding and accepting the dark side of one's self as beloved of God. No wonder such a journey requires courage. It also requires assurance regarding the fiery, passionate nature of God's unconditional love.
May God grant such courage and assurance to all those struggling with addictions.
Posted by: Mark Chamberlin | July 26, 2005 at 07:49 PM
Amen and Amen!
Pray for me
Posted by: jmccrimmon | March 16, 2006 at 04:39 AM
The sands in your way beg for your song and your movement, dancing water. will you carry the burden of their lameness? Do you understand?
Posted by: jordan 3 | August 06, 2010 at 12:33 AM
This is one our greatest struggles is to move from the head into the heart with God. It can be a dark and intimidating journey as we face the issues and memories of our past that burn so deep. Trusting that God is faithful and willing to heal our brokenness is where it begins. Taking the time to calm our minds and hearts before a sovereign God is what it takes!
Posted by: Jeff Logue | July 01, 2011 at 12:49 PM