I've posted two notes, today, on "letting go," but I don't feel like I have wrestled with it at all for myself.
I love the idea of letting go, of becoming detached from the things my heart gets wrapped up in so that I'm free, I'm at rest, I'm trusting, I'm not striving, it's not about me, I'm small, God is big, and I'm His child. He's sovereign, He's in control, I let Him be both. I love the idea of not trying to be bigger than I am, arrange outcomes that I can't control anyway, worry and fret over what He is already caring for. I love the reality, that when I do let go I am left with just being myself, enjoying God, and enjoying the journey He has me on.
But then I have to fess up and say, if I like the idea of letting go so much, why is it so dang hard? Why am I so convinced that the decisions my 19-year-old is making is up to me to control (an impossible task, I assure you). Why am I so sure that unless I get the project I'm working on 100% "right" I'll be a failure, the world will fall apart and, probably, no one will ever enter the Kingdom of God again (how important am I, after all). Why am I so certain that I can, should, and must control the way people react to me by being what they want me to be instead of who God made me to be? Why am I trying to be who I'm not, "do" in order to feel valuable, help others in order to feel important, or measure my life by what what others are doing?
All of this is working on me today... but there is also something else at work... the little reminder... the still voice calling me... and it comes back to me. Just a little time in His Presence, just a moment or two with Him, just a brief gaze in His direction, and it becomes incredibly easier to just... breathe a sigh of relief... and let go. He is enough; He is enough; He is enough. When I'm with Him my grip begins to just loosen up... all on it's own. There is rest!
I think it's time to let go of even trying to get this blog "complete"...
Letting Go- this is something that I am currently really trying to work on. It is so much harder than I had originally thought. I thought, hey no big deal- I'll just let go and let God...and I will have all of this freedom and everything will be great...and then when I least expect it, God shines His light on all the silly little things that I am holding on to so tightly. The scary part is half of the time I don't even realise I am. So I guess what I am working on now is just the awareness that I am doing this...and maybe once I get that down, I can actually try to pull my little fingers off of whatever 'hot' topic is on my mind- and see that God's big strong hands are all over it....
Posted by: Nannette | February 09, 2004 at 09:34 AM
oooh... i love nannette's imagery of God shining his light on all the "silly little things i'm holding on to so tightly..." that's going to give me some food for thought today...
Posted by: roger | February 09, 2004 at 09:41 AM
"Let go and let God" or put another way, "I can't, God can, if I will let Him". Jesus was remarkably detached to all the world's folly. Of course, He had the wisdom and discernment to know this truth. I tend to get more easily attached to various news events, the political atmosphere or momentum, or perhaps the ebb and tide of my own personal relationships. How about finances, taxes, job situation, etc.? Expectations, distractions... why it's a "ball of confusion" as the Tempations put it. I can start my day over. I can cast my lot with Jesus and detach from all this. Yet Jesus didn't "not care" - and that's where I can easily end up. The challenge, the lesson my Master teaches is to love through all these trials and tribulations. I'm learning. I'm learning to walk. I'm finding it interesting not to react to opinions and not to overly express my own. My only passion is coming to be very narrowed... I want to talk about Jesus, about God. And then I figure out that God is intersted in all people, and i am becoming interested in ... more people. Even those bleeding heart liberal communists who are bent on turning the free world into some kind of expiramental zoo. OK, so I'm not there yet. Let go, Let go. I'm learning to separate opinions from people. "They know not what they do." (And now I see that right wing capitalist morons are just another version of the "calamity" that is this world.) If I am truly a disciple, I am set apart, set free. And I am beginning to taste that freedom. It is good. Come to Jesus, to the fount of life and drink, all you who are thirsty! Drink life. Our many political views and opinions will be shown to be folly, and all will become dust, but the Word will live forever!
Posted by: john | February 09, 2004 at 07:55 PM
good stuff, all...
recent ramblings from my journal at the end of a day:
"Letting go of my day-- who thought what of me... how i did, what i said, how people reacted... let it go... it means nothing, nothing nothing... to even remain conscious of myself... is to be separated from the Father I wish to live with, walk with, and just keep my eyes on. So give me the grace, to just let it go, release it all, today is done, gone, and no longer has anything in it to hang on to. Tomorrow is not yet... there is just now, in You...
Posted by: roger | February 09, 2004 at 08:31 PM
Well, because nannette wrote, i thought that i could give it a try. i also wanted to write because i totally relate to letting go. God is so working on me to let everything go...my thoughts of others, my thoughts of myself, my mindless actions (autopilot), everything. Im learning to be honest with God and honest with myself and in that i am more comfortable to be honest with others. this week i have really learned to be actively letting go things that i have no control over. which is almost EVERYTHING. i am finding a freedom that i have never experiences. i feel comfortable in my own skin. i feel comfortable in Gods love for me. i feel good.
Posted by: meghan | February 10, 2004 at 08:42 AM
LETTING GO SEEMS TO BE EXTREMELY EASY FOR ME, THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I LET GO OF EVERYTHING. THAT MAY SEEM LIKE A GOOD THING BUT IT IS NOT WHEN I STILL HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT NEED TENDING TO. WE STILL HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD AND STILL HAVE THOSE THINGS WHICH MUST BE TENDED TO. LAUNDRY,DINNER,HOMEWORK,WORK,RELATIONSHIPS,BILLS,TAXES,BATHTIME,BEDTIME,AND PRAYERTIME. ONLY TO WAKE UP AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. THEN WHEN I CAN'T POSSIBLY DO ONE MORE THING I COMMIT TO ANOTHER THING ONLY TO FAIL OR FALL SHORT OR JUST BE PLAIN FLAKEY. THEN COMES THE GUILT AND SHAME AND THOUGHTS OF WHO DOESN'T LOVE ME TODAY. WHO DID I LET DOWN TODAY. LORD, WHY DOES IT SEEM SO HARD? OH YEAH, I'M SUPPOSED TO LET IT GO. HMMM, IT IS FREEING TO JUST SAY "OH WELL, I DID THE BEST I COULD WITH WHAT I HAVE". TODAY I WILL TRY HARDER, MAYBE NOT COMMIT TO THE EXTRAS, MAYBE BE HONEST WITH THOSE AROUND ME ABOUT WHERE I AM AT. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE I WILL ASK GOD WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO AND I WILL NOT WORRY SO MUCH WHAT OTHERS MIGHT SAY OR THINK. HMMM, THAT MIGHT BE THE WHOLE CLUE TO LETTING GO. JUST BE WHO I AM IN CHRIST- SEEKING HIM FIRST,THEN DOING ONLY WHAT HE FEELS I SHOULD DO. LOVE MY CHILDREN, LOVE MY NEIGHBORS, LOVE MY FRIENDS, AND ESPECIALLY LOVE HIM. I THINK HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS. THANK YOU JESUS THAT YOU ARE GOD AND I AM NOT. THANX FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE-IT'S HELPED.
Posted by: jennifer | February 10, 2004 at 10:34 AM
Jennifer-
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.
It is so hard for me to not "let go" when the pressures of life come.
I need to stay focused. I tend to "let go" because of my fear of failure. This might sound strange but let me show you how my mind works. If I choose to let somthing go and it falls apart, I didn't fail I chose to let it go (I could have held it together???). This "letting go" gives me an out.
God recently has been showing me that I need to rely on God to help me through the tough times and keep me focused.
Posted by: Aaron | February 10, 2004 at 11:26 AM
oooohhhhhh Aaron, I like that - "I didn't fail, I chose to let it go" - grace.
Posted by: Heidi | February 10, 2004 at 12:17 PM
For me, detachment is powered by a focus on becoming closer to God. He wants us to love him, with no strings attached. And to do that, we have to let go of our attachments to anything that is not God. One writer said we let go of everything so that we can hold on to God.
This doesn't mean we ignore others' needs - in fact, we love others, have compassion for them, and help them. But to the extent we do that for our own gratification, that's attachment. Attachment and selfishness are very similar because they revolve around the needs of our self, not the love of/for God.
What seems like such a simple concept sure is hard to live by!
Posted by: Steve Bogner | February 11, 2004 at 05:30 AM